Parshat Miketz: Making Space for Change
In Parshat Miketz, Joseph comes face to face with the brothers who once betrayed him. They do not recognize him, but he recognizes them immediately. He now holds enormous power—over their fate, their safety, their survival.
In Parshat Miketz, Joseph comes face to face with the brothers who once betrayed him. They do not recognize him, but he recognizes them immediately. He now holds enormous power—over their fate, their safety, their survival. And yet, instead of revenge, Joseph chooses something far more demanding: restraint. He weeps privately, steps away to gather himself, and then returns to the work at hand. Joseph does not rush toward reconciliation, but he also does not shut the door on it. He creates a pause—a space where the question is not what they did to him, but who they have become since.
The Torah gives us a rare glimpse into Joseph’s inner life when he sees his youngest brother Benjamin and is overwhelmed with emotion. His tears tell us something essential: reconciliation is not a cold, strategic process. It is tender, destabilizing, and deeply human. Joseph feels everything—longing, grief, love, anger—and still chooses not to act from impulse. Instead, he tests his brothers, placing them in a familiar moral position to see whether they will make a different choice this time. Reconciliation, the Torah suggests, requires not only remorse, but transformation.
Maimonides teaches that complete teshuvah happens when we encounter the same situation again and choose differently—not because we are afraid, not because we are powerless, but because we have changed. Joseph understands this intuitively. He does not demand apologies. He does not force forgiveness. He offers his brothers an opportunity to show who they are now. Miketz reminds us that healing broken relationships requires courage on both sides: the courage to change, and the courage to make space for that change to emerge.
Questions for Reflection
What do you think provokes Joseph’s tears—and why does he choose to cry in private?
What makes reconciliation so difficult, even when we want it?
Have you ever needed someone to show you they had changed, rather than simply say it?
Welcome to Torah in Harlem! As we move through each week, we’ll explore the stories and insights of the weekly Torah portion—the ancient text at the heart of Jewish life—and let them inspire conversation in our community. Our hope is to cultivate a gathering place where learning belongs, reflection brings joy, and we can all grow together.
